i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
They took my balls.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
