I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
