No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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