I need help removing her.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
