Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
