She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
