She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
