Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
