East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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