90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
