new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
