I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
