So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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