WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
