I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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