really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I believe in your delicious
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
