She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
then he tried to convert me to islam
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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