You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
