I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
