Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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