Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
