You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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