return my video game
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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