We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize