okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
