You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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