i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
time to smoke my breakfast
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
