well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
