he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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