I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
