i just wanna soil my oats bro
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
