Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
