I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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