did you get engaged???
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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