wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Enjoy the penises
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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