wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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