She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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