what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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