So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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