is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize