Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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