i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
