Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
