We're like a lot better than the average bears
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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