You're a womanizer and a bitch.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize