Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He shit in the fireplace
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
