I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you had me at cake vodka
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
