He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
