i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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