you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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