and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
