just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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