how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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