i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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