you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My ATM looks so different sober.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Houston, we have a blender
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
