No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
