Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
