walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
