Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
