He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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