garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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