Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
