when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
