My hand turned me down
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
