I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
