Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
