Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
