i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
