Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
