We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Green mimosas i think yes
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
