Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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