I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
