you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
