she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize