She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
