so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
