Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
