Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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